“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” — Ephesians 4:15
As I was lying in bed this morning pondering Charlie Kirk’s legacy, it struck me how costly it is to truly “speak the truth in love.” As Christians, we often think of that phrase as confronting sin or telling people what they need to hear. That has its place, but if we treat truth-telling as a monologue, it can become harsh, legalistic, or self-exalting of which I have been guilty of. What began as a sincere desire to love someone has at times turned into an ugly posture of “I’m right, you’re wrong.”
This led me to ponder Paul’s command in the context of the unity in the body of Christ in Ephesians 4 and that gave me fresh perspective on how I understand “speaking the truth in love”.
Paul’s command is not about putting others in their place but about building up the body of Christ. Truth is a ministry, not a weapon. Truth without love divides, and love without truth deceives. Only truth spoken in love produces maturity in Christ and contributes to unity.
Paul also reminds us that truth in love must be spoken with humility. He opens the chapter urging “humility, gentleness, and patience” (Ephesians 4:2). That means truth-telling is not standing over someone else but walking beside them. It is not a monologue but a dialogue — a conversation where we both speak and listen. To speak truth in love means being just as willing to receive correction as we are to give it.
This made me think of Charlie Kirk’s campus tours. He didn’t just lecture from a stage, telling students what to believe. He sat in a booth, handed the microphone to others, and gave them an equal chance to speak. By engaging in conversation he let the other side’s voice be as loud as his. He listened as much as he talked. He gave people the opportunity to prove him wrong and treated them with the same respect he desired for himself. That takes courage — the courage to engage in real dialogue.
It feels “safe” to deliver truth in a monologue, because we hold the control. We can say our piece and walk away. But dialogue requires courage because:
1. We open ourselves to correction. Others may point out sins and blind spots in us.
2. We risk being misunderstood. Love makes us vulnerable.
3. We give up control. We cannot dictate how the other person responds.
This is why true dialogue takes more courage than monologue. It requires not only the boldness to speak, but also the humility to hear.
Ephesians 4 ends with the image of the body building itself up in love as each part does its work (v. 16). To contribute to that kind of unity, we must lay down our pride, our “right to be right,” and even our comfort. This applies not only to every believer but especially to the ministers God appoints, because this is the example Christ left for us. Jesus did not merely proclaim truth and move on — He entered into relationship. He listened to questions, objections, and even hostility. That took courage because it meant vulnerability, and it ultimately led Him to lay down His life on the cross.
So, when we engage in truth as dialogue, we imitate Christ:
- Courage to speak what’s right.
- Courage to hear what’s hard.
- Courage to keep love as the motive, even when it costs us.
Philippians 2:3–5 shows us that this is the mind of Christ: to count others more significant than ourselves and to serve in humility.
Charlie Kirk’s death is a sober reminder of the brevity of life. What we say and how we say it matters deeply. Speaking the truth in love is not about winning arguments or proving our zeal; it’s about building unity in Christ’s body. It takes courage because it’s not just about telling others the truth — it’s about opening ourselves to hear the truth in return. It takes humility because we must be vulnerable, letting others speak into our lives. And it takes love because, like Christ, we need to go seek the lost and wayward and in doing so we lay ourselves down so that others may grow up into Him.
“When people stop talking, really bad stuff starts. When marriages stop talking, divorce happens. When civilization stops talking, civil war ensues. When you stop having a human connection with someone you disagree with, it becomes a lot easier to want to commit violence against that group.”
– Charlie Kirk
Keep speaking truth.
Keep reaching out in love.
And keep having the courage to do both.
This is what Charlie taught me.
