With Valentine’s Day just around the corner—a day many people celebrate with cards, candy, and kind words—have you ever stopped to wonder why we celebrate it at all, or where the name Valentine comes from?
Today, we’re pausing our usual journey through church history and fast-forwarding nearly two hundred years from the time of Jesus and the early church in Jerusalem to another part of the Roman Empire where the story of Valentine begins.
Forbidden Love
Italy, in those days, was the very heart of the Roman Empire, and at its center stood the great city of Rome, a place filled with stone roads, towering buildings, crowded marketplaces, and soldiers marching wherever one looked. The Roman Empire was the greatest empire the world had ever known stretching across many lands far and wide. Yet the larger the empire grew, the harder it became to protect. With so much land to guard, Rome needed a great many soldiers to keep its borders safe.
It was third century and Emperor Claudius II, who was also later known as Claudius the Cruel for his harsh ways was looking for brave young men to recruit into his army. He believed that without a strong army and more soldiers his empire would crumble.
But many young men were unwilling to join the army, not because they were afraid, but because they loved their families and did not wish to leave them behind for years at a time. Some were married, others hoped to be married soon, and Roman soldiers were often required to serve for as long as twenty-five years.
The emperor decided that love itself was the problem. If men were not allowed to marry, he believed they would be more willing to fight. And so he made a law that there would be no more weddings, no more engagements, and no promises to be married. Love had been forbidden by command of the emperor.
Secret Weddings
Among those who heard this law was Valentinus, a Christian priest who served God faithfully. Valentinus knew that marriage was not something invented by Rome or created by people, but a gift from God, meant to bring joy and blessing into the world. Though the law troubled him deeply, Valentinus believed that marriage came from God, and that no emperor had the power to take away what God had made. Valentinus understood the danger of disobeying the emperor, but he also knew that obeying God was more important than obeying any ruler on earth.
And so, under the stillness of night, far from the noise of the city, couples gathered in the woods quietly where Valentinus would bless their vows and join them in marriage. Though the law said love must stop, love continued to live quietly, protected by courage and faith.
Before long, news of these secret weddings reached the emperor, and soldiers were sent to arrest Valentinus. He was brought before Claudius and questioned for breaking the law and for refusing to worship the Roman gods. Valentinus spoke calmly and told the emperor about Jesus, about God’s love, and about a kingdom greater than any empire. For a moment, Claudius listened attentively to this wonderful message of love where God sent His son to die for sinners, but the voices around him warned that this man was dangerous, and the emperor’s heart hardened once more and locked Valentinus away.
Valentinus was taken and placed behind heavy doors and iron bars. Yet even there, he did not stop trusting God. He prayed that God’s light would shine in the darkness of the prison and reach those who lived within its walls. One of the guards who watched over him had a daughter who had been blind since birth, and when he heard Valentinus speak of God’s power, he asked if this same God of light could give sight to his daughter. Valentinus prayed, and the next morning the guard came running with joy to tell Valentinus that his daughter could see and his entire family placed their faith in Jesus.
Not long after, Valentinus was punished and put to death for obeying God rather than the emperor. The year was AD 269 and the day was February 14. At that time February 14 was a pagan Roman holiday for honoring Juno, the goddess of women and marriage and the eve of the Feast of Lupercalia, a feast honoring Faunus, the god of fertility and nature. More than two hundred years later, a church leader chose this day to replace the pagan holiday and to honor Valentinus instead for his courage, his faith, and his love for God and for others. And this is the story of how Valentine’s Day came to be remembered.
Now this is just one of the stories told about Valentines. Did you know that there were actually three Valentine’s that lived in the late third century in the Roman Empire and no one knows for sure which Valentinus is the one we honor. One Valentinus was a priest in Rome, one was a bishop in Italy, and another was from a Roman province in Africa. Some believe the priest and bishop may have been the same man. There is even debate about whether Emperor Claudius truly banned marriages across the empires. This is surely a mystery of history.
One legend even tells that. on the eve of his death, Valentinus wrote a note to the jailer’s daughter and signed it, “From your Valentine.”
Why Valentinus’s Story Still Matters Today
Valentinus’s story still matters because it reminds us that love is more than a feeling, and more than something we celebrate for just one day each year. Love, as Jesus showed us, is a choice—a steady decision to care for others, to remain faithful, and to do what is right even when it is difficult. Valentinus did not protect marriage or speak about Jesus because it was easy or popular, but because he believed God’s ways were good and worth following, no matter the cost.
His story also reminds us that loving God sometimes means standing firmly against the world around us. Valentinus did not shout or fight with weapons, but he obeyed God in small, faithful ways—by blessing marriages, by speaking the truth with courage, and by trusting God even when he knew his life would be in danger.
We may not know how much Valentinus’ story is fact or fiction, we do know this: love and marriage were created by God, and no earthly power can undo what God has made good.
Key Scripture
Jesus tells us in John 15:12-13, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
The Bible commands us to love one another, and like Valentinus understood, no one has the power to stop us from loving others—because love is commanded by God Himself. And we are able to love because God loved us first. Long before we knew Him, long before we ever loved Him, God showed His love by sending His Son, Jesus, to lay down His life for us, so that whoever believes in Him may have everlasting life. This is true love—freely given, undeserved, and full of grace.
Valentinus’s life helps us remember what Jesus meant when He spoke of the greatest love of all. When Jesus said that there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends, He was speaking of a love that gives without expecting anything in return. Valentinus lived that kind of love, choosing faithfulness to God and kindness toward others, even when it led to his own suffering. His story invites us to consider how we, too, might love in ways that are patient, brave, and true.
So when Valentine’s Day comes around this year, we can remember that long ago there lived a man whose love was shaped by Christ—a love that sought to give more than receive, a love that placed the good of other’s above his own, and a love that ultimately brought blessing to those around him.
If Valentinus’s story encouraged you, consider sharing this episode with a friend, so they too can be reminded of what true love really means.
And if you’d like to dive deeper, you can download our free episode companion guide, which includes a short devotional, fun activities, and thoughtful discussion topics related to this story. You’ll find the link in the show notes below.
And remember, the greatest Valentine story was lived out for us by Christ, whose love gives everything and asks for nothing in return. While it’s fun and wonderful to give cards, candy, or flowers to friends and family on Valentine’s Day, the love that truly lasts is the love we live out every day: the love that is patient, kind, brave, and faithful. Just like Valentinus, we can choose to show God’s love to others in small, quiet ways, trusting that even the simplest acts of care can bring light to the world.
So this Valentine’s Day, let us remember the love that never fails—the love of Christ—and let our hearts reflect that same faithful, selfless love to those around us.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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